Getting Your Foot in the Door

Imagine you want a well-known, very busy person to speak at an event you are organizing, but you suspect they might decline. What is your best move?

Of course, you could spend time perfecting your main request. But there is another approach that works surprisingly well. Start with something small and easy to agree to, and once they say yes, follow up with the bigger ask you actually want.

This is known as the Foot-in-the-Door technique, first documented in 1966. In this study, researchers asked homeowners to place a large, unattractive “Drive Carefully” sign in their yards. Only 17% agreed. But when the same homeowners were first asked to sign a simple petition supporting safe driving, and later asked to display the sign, the number who agreed jumped to 55%.

Why does this happen? One reason is that saying yes to the first request begins to build a sense of connection between the two people. Another is that humans like to be consistent. Once we see ourselves as helpful or supportive, we tend to keep acting in ways that match that self-image.

How Could You Believe That?

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, how can anyone possibly believe that?

Chances are you have had that thought recently, whether about conspiracy theories, climate change denial, or extreme political claims. One explanation lies in cognitive dissonance. Most of us want our beliefs, attitudes, and actions to feel aligned. When new information threatens that balance, it creates discomfort. To protect ourselves, we often dismiss, question, or ignore the information and instead hold on to whatever preserves our identity.

But cognitive dissonance does not only entrench harmful views. Sometimes it pushes people toward positive change. Imagine someone who dislikes the idea of recycling but is required by their city to separate their waste. Over time, the repeated act of recycling may shift how they see themselves. They begin to think of themselves as someone who values sustainability because their behavior has been consistent with that identity.

The lesson here is that while cognitive dissonance can entrench harmful views, it can also be a pathway to growth. When behaviors shift first, beliefs often follow. This gives us a clue on how to encourage change, which is to focus on small actions that people can repeat, which in time may reshape how they see themselves.

I’ll Be Happy When… Syndrome

Try finishing this sentence. If I could only have [XYZ], I would finally be happy.

For some, the answer might be a new home or car. Others might picture a big move, a promotion, better health, or a stronger relationship. The problem is that this kind of thinking does not hold up. Research shows that whether events are positive or negative, they rarely make lasting changes to our overall happiness.

This is explained by hedonic adaptation, often called the hedonic treadmill. After good news, people feel a rush of joy. After bad news, they feel a dip in mood. Yet before long, both groups return to their natural baseline. In other words, we get used to almost everything.

If life events do not permanently boost happiness, then what does? Studies suggest small, intentional practices can make a difference. Spending money on experiences or on others brings more fulfillment than buying things. Adding variety to everyday routines helps prevent boredom. Taking time to slow down and truly savor what you enjoy can stretch moments of happiness further. These choices may not be dramatic, but they can lift your baseline in meaningful ways.

When Sunk Costs Hold You Back

Think about a time when you poured months into a project, tried learning a new skill, or kept going through a book that dragged on. At some point you realized it was not worth it, yet you told yourself you could not stop because you had already invested so much.

That is the sunk cost fallacy at work. It is the habit of continuing to spend time, money, or effort on something even when it no longer benefits us. We cling to it because quitting feels like admitting failure or wasting what we already spent. The truth is that those past costs are gone, and what matters most is the future value we can still create.

A better way forward is to approach choices as though you are starting fresh today. Ask yourself whether you would commit to this path if you were making the decision right now. You can also use reflective questions and tools like this articles or listen to this podcast to make letting go feel easier. By focusing on the road ahead rather than the resources already spent, we free ourselves to choose better opportunities.

Maximizer or Satisficer - You Do You

Think about this for a moment. Which of these feels more like you?

Option A. In group discussions, you are the one raising new questions, pointing out areas that still need to be explored, and feeling uneasy when others seem ready to move ahead without weighing all the possibilities.

Option B. In those same discussions, you find yourself impatient with more questions and fresh angles, and you would rather guide everyone toward a decision so the group can move forward.

If you lean toward A, you are likely a maximizer. Maximizers want to examine every option and make the very best choice. If B sounds more familiar, you are probably a satisficer. Satisficers prefer to find a choice that is good enough and then keep things moving. There is this tool called the Maximization Scale that helps you figure out where you land.

Maximizers tend to make stronger decisions in terms of outcome, yet they often second-guess themselves and feel regret afterward. Satisficers may not always pick the perfect solution, but they are usually more satisfied with their choices. Knowing these different approaches helps us work better with others, appreciate different strengths, and stay patient when someone’s style is not the same as ours.

Following the Crowd

Imagine you are at a huge outdoor music festival. The place is buzzing with people, the maps are confusing, and the signs are hard to read. You want to find the food stalls or figure out where the main stage is. Instead of stressing out, you just look around and follow the flow of people who seem to know where they are going.

That simple act is social proof in action. The idea, explained by Robert Cialdini in his book Influence, shows how much we rely on others when we are uncertain. In moments of doubt, we watch what people around us are doing and often copy them. This pull becomes even stronger when the people we are watching are experts, well-known figures, or those we feel are just like us.

Social proof shows up everywhere in daily life. We choose the crowded café over the empty one because we assume it must be better. We check out a movie because everyone online is talking about it. We sign up for a fitness class because our friends are already going. We even end up buying products after reading glowing reviews from people we have never met.

The power of social proof can be used to encourage positive behaviors. If a community wants to promote recycling, the message works best when people see that their neighbors are already doing it. If we want to encourage healthier choices, showing stories of everyday people who have taken those steps is more persuasive than abstract instructions. What feels normal often becomes what we adopt.

A Matter of Time

Ever noticed that you and the people close to you don’t always see time the same way? Maybe you spend most of your energy thinking about what’s ahead, while your partner prefers to live in the moment, and your sibling tends to dwell on the past.

Psychologist Philip Zimbardo studied this and found five distinct ways people relate to time. They are Past-Negative, Past-Positive, Present-Fatalistic, Present-Hedonistic, and Future-Oriented.

Each perspective shapes our choices and behaviors, and every one of them comes with both strengths and weaknesses. There is even a short eight-minute quiz that shows your own time preferences. You can print your results and compare them against what researchers call a balanced time perspective.

The way we view time is shaped by things like childhood experiences, religion, language, economic background, and culture. When we realize that people frame time differently, it becomes easier to show empathy and work well together. We can also shift our own perspective depending on what’s needed. For example, embracing a Present-Hedonistic view can make a holiday feel more joyful.

Don’t Fall Into The Big Mistake

Only 23% of people in Bangkok are wearing face masks. This has to change.

At first glance this sounds like a bold campaign message, right? In reality, it falls into what psychologist and author Dr Robert Cialdini calls The Big Mistake. He showed this effect in an experiment at Arizona’s Petrified Forest National Park. The park wanted to stop visitors from stealing petrified wood. When they put up a sign telling people not to steal and even showed an image of three people doing it, theft tripled. But when the message pointed out that most visitors never stole anything, the rate of theft dropped.

The Big Mistake happens when we make bad behavior seem like the norm by drawing attention to it. A more effective approach is to shine a light on what most people are doing right. For example, a message that says the majority of parents in Bangkok are wearing masks, or that more and more people are starting to use them, sets a positive standard that others are more likely to follow.

Oops, I did it again!

Imagine you are on a 1,500-calorie plan and your partner walks in with a box of warm cookies. You take one, then realize the number on your tally is already broken. Instead of stopping, you think “well, what’s the point now” and keep going with four more. Tomorrow you tell yourself you will start fresh.

That slip and the spiral that follows has an actual name. Psychologists call it the What-the-Hell Effect. As explained in The Willpower Instinct, once you break your own rule you feel guilty, and the quickest way to soothe the guilt is often to do more of the very thing that caused it.

This habit shows up in more than diets. It can push people back into smoking, heavy drinking, or hours of binge watching. The way to fight it is to plan for slip-ups before they happen. For example, deciding if you light one cigarette you will get rid of the rest of the pack. It also helps to step away from the guilt loop. Forgive yourself, remind yourself the setback is small, and give yourself credit for stopping it there.